After a long absence and twisting, turning adventures (Uranus currently squaring my natal Moon), I'm back to blogging and just in time for Venus to stop it's retrograde motion and slowly return to it's forward direction, a situation which has made tangles out of a great many panties.
The love-Goddess has been touring through the realistic and practical sign of Capricorn since early November going stationary retrograde just a few degrees shy of Aquarius on December 22nd. She's coming to another standstill and will begin moving forward again in the coming days, finally leaving Capricorn for the more social and experimental sign of Aquarius on March 6th.
It's these "stationary" points that are most significant in a planetary retro cycle and the days surrounding it's stand-still in the sky are powerful times and will be very noticeable for those who have planets in alignment with the degree in which Venus stops in the sky. So although technically she goes direct on the 1st of February she will be at her 'stationary degree' of 13º Capricorn from Jan 27 to February 4th and even then she will be at 14º for 4 days (before and after Feb 1) rather than her usual 2 days per degree. So don't eat that whole box of chocolates just yet.
When considering the power of a transit it's important to remember that it's not so much the motion of a planet but it's speed. These slow times for a planet are especially powerful.
What does it all mean?
There is a lot of unnecessary fear regarding Retrograde cycles. While it's true that it can be especially difficult and confusing (depending on various factors) it's also a time when friends and lovers from your past return, or when we get a second chance to bury the hatchet with someone who makes a better ally than enemy.
I have found the Venus retrograde cycle to be a great exercise in non-attachment with Venusian themes of Love, money and beauty but particularly sexual and love relationships. The retrograde cycle involves a change of direction and in relationships there is often a change or reversal of some kind. If we can remain both open hearted and open handed by not grasping, naming or controlling the situation we can enjoy the unusualness without any suffering or, at least, less suffering than if we were ignorant of the times.
Venus is both love and our desires for love and affection. Often during the retrograde cycle our desires and values of love and beauty are not as normal. This means we will be attracted to people and relationships that are not what we would normally desire for any number of reasons. Sometimes we weren't attracted to them before or they are unavailable or we just know the person isn't right for us -and yet we are drawn in. Often this is a mutual drawing in of two people. By the time the cycle is over we wake up wondering what happened.
Remember the inverse is true as well. We can be repelled by people whom we later find to be great matches for us be they friends or lovers. The key is that our values and perceptions of others are "off" and not to be trusted. Remember this too when we experience slights or offense from friends and peer groups. Take it in stride if we feel neglected or unappreciated as the experience will pass and may be less real than we interpret. If we make a stink about it we could cause an actual problem out of nothing. Don't be a stinker.
also keep in mind that Venus rules cosmetics, hair, clothing, luxuries and gifts. These things can also be unusual and it's not the best time for a make-over.
The Tantalus Factor
Another common experience is what I call the "tantalus factor" and it's enough to make a lady claw her weave out. Tantalus is a mythological character who, having offended the Gods, was punished by being buried up to his neck with water and fruit just out of his reach. Each time the water would come near his lips it would recede away and his thirst would remain unquenched. Here he is below. Sucks to be you, Tantalus.
This kind of teasing, tantalizing and frustrating experience is very common with Venus retrograde cycles and being aware of it can reduce our suffering greatly. It can manifest in any number of ways be it someone who is luring us on without intention of consummating our desires or in the case of someone who returns our affection but is unable to express the feeling due to moving away or being tied up in the process of a break up.
The key factor is that there is some kind of information that is not being told, seen or understood. This information or realization will come at some point during the retro cycle often at the end) and our feelings about the relationship or person will change. Eventually another shoe will drop or a skeleton will come out of the closet, changing the dynamic and causing us to rethink things.
If you feel attraction to someone who might be different than what you are normally attracted to around the time of Venus stationing to go Retrograde then it's very likely that this person or relationship will be simply tantalizing or there will be a mutual realization that you aren't a match. If it's an ongoing relationship there may be a slow-down, love may fizzle or someone may withdraw and rethink things.
The lover Returns
Although it can still be tantalizing, one way a Venus retro cycle can possibly be consummated without frustration is when a lover or suitor from our past returns. If we had a connection with someone and the line got cut for some reason, we may get a second chance. The person may call you up, you could literally bump into them on the street or they may become roommates with a good friend of yours. I've experienced each of these personally. Whatever the circumstance, the cat comes back.
At times it will be a person whom we had a serious relationship with and this person may call or write expressing feelings of longing or love. Certainly, we ourselves might be the person calling, writing or pining for a lost love. This can be multiplied by various factors: An ex whom grosses you out to the max might call you up while you are writing a letter to a the dream boat who you can't get over and are suddenly reminded of. Sometimes our reminiscing will involve a 'rose-colored tint' to our memories causing us to forget about the problematic or unattractive elements of a person or relationship and we may reunite only to break up again when we realize and re-experience the ugly truth and handsome prince charming goes back into being the usual shirt-cocking toad of a scrotum.
If in a relationship we may experience the re-ignition of both love and problematic areas of our relationship. Issues that have settled into the background for the time being might resurface and get dealt with during this time. The dealing of this issue could itself rekindle feelings of intimacy and love and if insurmountable it could be the end of a relationship. If you are sitting on the fence about a relationship, this cycle will push you off and signal a time of action.
Respect
As you can see, perception and it's fallibility is a big part of the retrograde cycle. It's also the key of planetary alignments which we term "aspects" which means, literally, "to see". Spect = to see; spectator, spectacles, inspect or spectrum. It's all about sight and perception.
In the case of Venus retrograde it's about looking again at the people in our lives and our values around love and desire. To look again means, literally, "respect".
Respect is not "like". We like people whom we are "alike", people with whom we share values with. We can like someone without respecting them and we can respect someone we don't like. we even respect things we fear such as fire, or the ocean. We may look away for a moment but unless we "look again" we can be burnt or swept out to sea. Love is a thing to respect. The hearts of other people deserve your respect.
Respect also means "to return the gaze" as in 'eye contact'. When we respect someone we acknowledge them by looking at them or returning their gaze. In life we may encounter people we don't like or who we find unattractive, socially retarded, bad dancers, ect. This Venus retro cycle is a time when we can go back and look again the people in our lives with whom we have had contempt and give them respect as human beings even if they aren't like us. While seemingly insignificant it is an opportunity to expand our awareness and make allies with people who we had previously shrunk away from.
I suggest you respect this cycle of natural time by taking a second look at your friends and lovers and at your values. Remain non-attached to outcomes, accept the love that comes your way and love freely without expectation. Refrain from firm commitments be they joining or separating and let the process unfold over the coming weeks.
With respect and regards!
-Ian
